My Thoughts
I want to share my thoughts and feelings
from where I am today,
in the middle, looking forward to
tomorrow and touching on the past as it
relates to where I am today.
I look back with a gentle heart full
of LOVE remembering the good times.
Firstly I love life fiercely and desperately.
I have always had a gift of
seeing the good bits....a throw of
the dice....
Blind determination is the best element
of my life. I demand the best of myself.
I cannot say that I had a premonition
that something was about to happen to me
but I knew I was getting ready to
change in a big way. You know the feeling I am sure,
when you are unhappy and, although
you do not know what is about to happen,
you know that things cannot go on
the way they are.
That is how it felt for me living
in my home country of Northern Ireland.
I do not have all the answers but
at least now I know I will take my share of chances.
Before I moved to the States, I had
reached the point where I was not learning anything new,
and had been stagnating. Somewhere
during my return to Ireland, (September-December of 1994)
I had decided that enough was really
enough. I wanted to do something with this life I was given.
I also felt that I had to start doing
it for myself. I was really disempowered, as everyone was telling me
what to do with my life. I could not
take it any longer. It was as if one day my eyes opened and I thought to
myself, I CAN DO IT! I CAN MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR MYSELF!
I just want to go on from here and
make the most of it all. I want to be in charge of my own life and destiny.
Then if things work out I can feel
accomplished and if they do not, I can at least know I tried.
And then I can try again and again.
Many people view ambition as a negative
quality in an individual.
I do not think ambition is bad, it
is my very life force, who I really am.
I cannot stop, time is moving too
fast and I have too many things I want to do .
I think once you stop wanting to create,
wanting to work and push forward, you become old
and then you die...........if you
know where you are going, you can make it magical!
I never really like to look back.
I like to move forward. Life has not been easy living here in
America recently, but it has been
good to me on occasion, and I am very thankful.
I hope that this gives you an idea
or just a touch on who I really am.
I look forward to more wonderment
in my young life. Now I do not think that I am running away
from anything, I know that I am running
toward something exciting........
We do not get that much time on this
planet, and unless a few of us make an effort to change
ourselves for the better it just will
not happen. We all have had experiences that are not always good, sometimes
frustrating and crushing, but positive good grows out of negative situations.
I
admit being negative towards quite
a lot in my young life, but, after a while you learn to become a positive
thinker and enjoy being alive..........
I have now the power to let my views
on life heal me in a way nothing else seems to do......
I want to undo the damage that has
been done.
A percentage of the friends I have
made over the years in entertainment all have a common,
self centered goal, all having to
do with fame and stardom. It is times like this that I am sorry to be
one of the few idealists. You must
experience failure before success....
I have done and in more ways than
one!
Regrets are an appalling waste of
time and energy....you cannot build on them,
they are only good for wallowing in.
They will hold you back
and prevent the most wonderful things
from happening to you in your life.
Time has displayed to me that the
bottom line is that I am responsible for my own happiness.
The choices and decisions I make daily,
directly influence the quality of my days.
I have stopped looking for scapegoats
in my life, and at last, I have learned to face the truth within' myself,
and right my own wrongs. I want to
go far beyond where I am right now as I have discovered that life
is either a daring adventure or nothing
at all. Life is too short not to take chances and live.....
Now I see every difficulty as a challenge,
a stepping stone, and I will never be defeated by
anything or anyone! It sounds ironic
I guess, but until you free those monsters within' yourself,
your life and soul are up for grabs...so
to speak!
There are really only two ways to
approach life, as victim, or as gallant fighter.
You decide if you want to act or react.
You must deal your own cards, or play with a stacked deck.
And if you do not decide which way
to play with life, it always plays with you in the end.
With love, all things are possible.
I have found that the secret to live your life the way you want to is the
simple answer!
Just live your life....and smile....
You are loved!
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